New Careers and Jealousy

So I’ve been thinking. Since my 5 year Hawaii plan is back on, maybe I should start planning now for what type of career I might have when I get there. I could easily just try to find a job doing the same thing that I do now but I don’t know how easily I’d find one.

However, I’ve been toying with the idea of maybe going to University of Phoenix or some other random "I’m a college but not a real college" type of school to get some sort of degree in Hospitality/Hotel Managment. Maybe if I start working on that now, I can have a few years of experience under my belt. It would be much easier to find a job in management at a hotel in one of the countries largest tourism states than to try to find a job as an office manager, right?

My only concern is, what if I get this degree and I don’t move to Hawaii. It isn’t really my life’s goal to run a hotel. But then again, most of my life’s goals are slightly unattainable from a logical and practical stand point at this stage in my life.

So...any ideas? Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?

****************************************

One of the worst feelings in the world is jealousy. Not only because it makes me feel unbecoming but it leaves me with a knot in my throat.

Part of me thinks that jealousy is a control issue for me. I wasn’t in control of how something turned out and someone else reaped the benefits of the reward of that outcome. But maybe I am reading too much in to it. Maybe jealousy is just that...jealousy. Seeing someone else with something that you want and can’t have.

So how does one get rid of those feelings? And why do we torture ourselves with constantly checking in on the people who have what we want and can’t have? I know I’m gonna feel like shit when I do it but I do it anyway. Am I trying to get it out of my system? Am I a masochist who just likes to feel pain?

Why do we torture ourselves? Why do *I* torture myself?