I can usually smell bullshit from a mile away

Most of my friends already know this, but I'm very observant. Not only am I very aware of my surroundings, but I’m also very in tune with other people's behaviors and body language. I'm also probably well above average on the make believe scale of self awareness. I don't take most people at their word (men in particular…no offense, boys) until I've had time to observe them and figure out their tells. My gut guides me and 99% of the time, it’s right. I may not always be able to put my finger on what's not right right away...but I’ll know it's something and wait for it to come to me later. In other words, not only do I know myself VERY well, but I’m usually a better than average judge of character.

So you can understand my surprise and the resulting blow to my ego (and perhaps my self esteem) when I recently discovered that I have officially been "played" for the first time. Yes...that's right. I fell for it. Something in my gut told me not to trust so easily but for once I made a decision to ignore it and decided to go out on a limb. After all, I wasn't sure if it was fear of being vulnerable that was telling me not to trust or whether it was actually my gut saying, "Hi...I'm a red flag. Nice to meet you."

I let as much of my emotional and mental restraint go as possible and decided to say, "Balls to the wall! Let's see where this goes!" He talked a big game about all the things a girl like me wants to hear and I’ve learned from books like "He's Just Not That into You" and "Why Men Love Bitches" that any guy who talks like that is most likely full of crap. But I ignored that knowledge and thought, "Maybe this guy is the real deal. Maybe the reason your gut is kind of churning is because you've never met a guy like this before so you have nothing to base your trust issues and past observations off of." Oh how wrong I turned out to be.

After spending hours upon hours discussing our likes and dislikes, our individual plans for the future, what we want from a spouse, promises of wanting to stay in contact every day from him, what his family is like, all the “plans and ideas for the potential future” and ok...yeah...maybe after a little bit of some of that kissing stuff, I still wasn't FULLY sold on the guy. But I was hopeful that I was right to make myself vulnerable and that I’d be rewarded for that choice with a desire to officially buy what he was selling.

That was over 85 hours ago. And I've yet to hear from him once.

I woke up on Sunday morning knowing that I was never going to hear from him again. I’m not sure what it was but I just knew. I told a friend of mine who had met him too my thoughts on the situation and she said I was wrong because she got a good vibe from him. So I bet her $5 that I wouldn’t hear from Mr. “I promise to call every day” by the time I went to bed on Monday night. She said, “I’ll take that bet!” Monday night rolls around and nothing. I texted him on Tuesday afternoon with a funny little comment just to prove to myself that I was right and he wouldn’t respond. Low and behold…radio silence. (She ended up buying me a Woodchuck at Broadway Brewhouse Tuesday night as payment, by the way. I guess the plus side is that I still won something out of it, right?)

My point of this particular blant (that’s a blog + a rant…I’m trying it on for size) is two fold.

Part A) This weekend provided for me the first time in my life I’ve truly had a giant bundle of thoughts, emotions, and doubts all hitting me in the face (and more importantly in the heart) at the same time over a guy. Seriously…I’ve had angst before, I’ve had hope before, I’ve had doubt before, I’ve had anger before, I’ve had sadness before. But this is the first time I’ve had all of them (plus some other things mixed in there) all hit me at once and within a 4 day period. Part of me says, “Run away! Run awaaaay!” because dealing with this stuff is too painful. The other part of me says, “Whatever…he is a total scuzz bucket. Just take it as a learning experience and move on. You’ll find a guy worthy of you soon enough. Hang in there, champ!”

And that leaves me feeling completely confused and almost back to square one.

Part B) Listen up, men. Because this part is for you. Guys like him make things difficult for the well intentioned men like you out there. These men that give us this false sense of trust and feed us their lies and raise our hopes and then don’t call, they are the reason we blow you off the first few times you try to connect with us. Because we trusted someone who seemed honest and genuine and they were lying the whole time. Why should we believe that you are any different? Why should we open ourselves up to being vulnerable and truthful again when someone told us they valued that and then proved they didn’t by not following through with a stupid phone call or even a lame text message?

So men…I challenge you to stand up to these guys. I challenge you to call them out. I challenge you to hold them to a higher standard. These guys that behave like this, they are your friends. So nut up and tell them, “Dude…not cool.” That’s all it takes. A simple acknowledgement that what they did was not kosher. A woman’s emotions are the core of who she is and toying with that for the chance at a little friskiness later is not ok. Ruining our hour/day/week/month/year for your own pleasure seeking selfishness is not ok. If a girl is only in it for one thing too and the two parties acknowledge that, fine by me. Go at it. Have fun. No expectations…no strings. I get it. But when you lie and deceive someone for the prospect of your own satisfaction, that’s what we call morally and ethically (and even biblically) WRONG.

Good day to you, Mr. “I promise to call every day” guy. I SAID GOOD DAY!